i am who i am
7:43 AM

haiz... wad a failure cip rep i m... but its sometimes not my fault oso.. but still...nvm... try to organize n b enthu bout cip.. but getting negative response is really veh sian diao de...

ok...feel lost...not onli becos of how failure a cip rep i m...but oso got others...first... got tt "mountain" climb... somehow.. after surviving the climb tt dae... i hav fallen down to the foot n m stuck there infinitely.. should i cont the climb?
no.. dun think so.. if i take advice from my tree..n thanx tree for squashing the mountain for me... but somehow i m squashed too... cos i m at the foot of the mountain...yah..haha.. anywae...
special thanx to my tree for toking to me n letting me nag bout tt mountain climb... if not.. i would hav been more lost..n probably be dead..haha...

n yep..lost again... fri got tt psycho briefing... dunno wad psc test.. then briefing marriane tan tok bout alot of stuff tt we should hav done.. wad personal statement.. ucas.. wadeva shit... dunno at all wad she is toking or crap...i feel damn lost.. regretted not joining the sapphire scholars thing... now i m totally lost... dun even noe how to write personal statement.. then after tt.. my class pple.. all the guys.. want to stay back n talk bout this... woah.. intellectual tok sia...tts wad me n wz call... cos we alwaes tend to learn n gain alot fr tokin to our class the pro pro guys... woah... after toking to them i feel so...lan4.. as in.. they already noe briefly wad they wan.. where to go...how to cont on fr a levels.. but i still dunno anything.. onli noe tt i muz mug for a levels...i feel so loser n inferior toking to them... realised tt all the guys realli veh zai.. they noe wad they wan n required.. n hav taken action..planning.. but me? nothing at all...
then saw mrs yeo.. then we tok to her.. act she realli not bad lah..as in she realli veh nice to talk to us when she act wan to go home to makan wif her family.. then she ask us not to worry bout not being sapphire scholar.. then tok to us bout alot of stuff lah.. haha... think she veh nice.. though some pple really dun like her.. but she nice to us mah...haha...bias... i noe...haha...

ok..yep.. hols r here..think i will b busy oso.. haha.. but i wan watch movie!!!
at least... X-men3 ...n... over the hedge ...
haha..so pple...date me n book me fast!!!
woah.. i so bhb..haha..

ss

i am who i am
9:31 PM

Becoz our class gonna to visit a hospice this holiday our ct rep invited a volunteer co-ordinator to give us a talk~ quite inspirational though.
There is this movie on this prof called Morrie who suffered from some terminal illness. Although he knew he was dying, he accepted the fact. "When you learn how to die, you learn how to live" -Morrie. Once you know how u are going die, you will live ur life at ur fullest, making each day meaningful to you and everyone around you. Morrie also mentioned that sometimes he felt lonely and helpless in the morning but he eventually will throw these feelings away and live with it. I really agree with him. No matter how bad you feel, at the end of the day, you just have to throw those feeling away and move on. That's what everyone will do. It's just a matter of fact that u throw ur feelings away earlier or later. The faster you throw, the earlier you can move on with your life. That's what life is about rite? Getting use to all these stuff. Its like a cycle, keeps going on and on and sometimes making you sick of it. It's basically the process of life.
Moral of the story: If you are sad, sad for just a while and move on(its quite difficult, but try try try... that's what i tell myself). Don't mug too much, have some life(balanced lifestyle)! When you can eat just eat(it pains me to see ppl consuming food via tubes thru nose and stomach), when you can walk just walk( more applicable to old folks) Most important thing: Don't REGRET!

cl

i am who i am
8:50 AM

Every time we meet new people, we form a quick judgment about them from their attire, they behaviour and how they speak. This are what we first impression. Oftenly, these impressions are inaccurate as we based them on superficial elements. However, even with time, one can still be judged unfairly. Classmates for at least one and a half years, yet many are ignorant of each others’ life, thoughts and difficulties. They make unjust comments and spew hurting words. Are all that necessary? No one expects you to understand. No one expects you to find out. But at least show some respect. People do not deserve to be judge by you just because you are more popular, more academically inclined and wealthlier. To certain degree, I find these people piteous. Their knowledge are limited to just text book knowledge; nothing else. Their IQ just stops at that; no more. As what my favourite equation says; IQ=100, EQ=0, multiply them together what you get is just an empty vessel making tonnes of irritating noise.

Shi~

i am who i am
4:58 AM

woah..shi..ur entries all sound so pro..make mine look so childish.. but hu cares..haha... me is me... i dun care.. everyone noes my gp standard.. i will nv b able to write such chim entries..haha..

ok...sat funtasia..ya..ap..saw ya... saw yanting oso..yah n many others..too bad my class got duty.. morning veh earlly reach sch then go lab cut fruits for vip le... i in charge of cutting..haha.. n thanx to me... we ate alot of fruits cos we juz eat those they think i cut not nice..so basically... we juz ate alot of watermelon..then later abit free time...go co stall there make sushi..woah.. my first time making sushi..handroll... not bad lah..cos my art n craft veh gd de..haha...
then later when reception start..my class again station lt4.. bring n wash all the dishes used by vip...wait veh long for a few hu refused to go.. then later..finally..tadaa... they left... n there was alot of food left...ALOT...haha.. so we brought back to lab n the whole class like pig...gobble everything up...haha.. so full lah... then we regretted buying coupons....cos we so full le... n later wash dishes..till 3+ then end...then i spent my coupons treating fren..then went home le.. veh tired..n yep...i slept alot..

sun..basically.. i juz slack whole dae..grandma went hospital..but ok le...

todae... another dae gone..haha... went help gz in morning...so slack lah...started late n ended early.. in between juz carried 2 chairs n 4 stands...then released at 12..
then cos i meet pig 2 at bugis...so i tot alot of time..then i took 66 to je..wan to go pop see bk..in the end she sae she will b early..then i juz take mrt there.. paiseh..made her wait...then got tix for davinci wif my free movie tix..haha..then go mos makan... pple..dun eat their dunno wad kimpira burger or wad..my fren sae it sux..haha.. ok..then slack n go watch movie...
paiseh sy..go kino...nv see ur alchemist bk4..

ok..movie sit till butt pain..149mins leh..haha..act quite dissapointed wif movie..cos its like..nothing really special..the bk nicer.. the movie like..is juz made juz for the sake of making cos the bk is pop..no wonder its given 2 stars onli..haha..but still ok lah.. enjoyed myself...
thanx pig for the "letter" n pig..haha..yep yep..same sentiments.. thanx alot pig.. u r great too..haha...n dun feel guity k? though i alwaes make pple feel guity...haha...

shall cont slacking until i get into mugging mood during hols...let me recharge now..

ss

i am who i am
6:29 AM

Flipping through the Sunday times, I came across an article about the ACJC blogger, Gayle Goh and Mr. Bilahari Kausikan. I was rather intrigued by the fact that a JC2 of our age was intrepid and sophisticated enough to comment blatantly on our government and politics. Driven by curiosity as many did, I visited her blog i-speak.blogdrive.com. Indeed an interesting blog with in-depth analysis of issues of politics. While many of us are ignorant and apathetic towards political issues, I am amazed by the firm stand this young lady is taking. Some commented that she was too idealistic while others advocated her views on certain political issues. Being a teenager of the same age as her, I am more impressed and inspired by her than to judge or critics her.

However, I do wonder if she was trained from young to be a political critique. Seldom do Singaporeans educate their children on issues of politics. Science and Mathematics are the primary concerns of most parents for only these fact-based and analytical subjects guarantee one in one of the prestigious career of doctors, lawyers and engineers. These are obviously a deep misconception of many parents and students; including me. After six years in triple science, I realized my knowledge are limited to just that—sciences. When my Gp teachers speaks about politics, arts and economics all I can do is try as hard as I can, searching through my memory bank in hope to find the slightest recollection of the topics. More often than not, my effort was futile as I stare blankly back at the exasperated teacher. How I wish I have the caliber to make judgments and have stands on the different issues. It was until recently that I realized the importance of being political informed and updated. Sadly to say, it is fairly late in the years of my life. Of course, being late is better than never.

I urge all parents to motivate your children to voice ideas and/or comments on issues concerning the society. No matter how small they might be, they will go a long way in shaping the mental maturity of your children. For any young people reading this entry, stop procrastinating and pick up the newspaper today. They might seem intimidating at the first glance, but if you are willing to place more thoughts into them, they can be more entertaining than the 5566 concert or dota.

Shi~

i am who i am
1:22 AM

Disclaimer: This is going to be a super random entry as its author is currently in a state of physical and emotional fatigue.

Special note: Mr commenter, this entry is based on total randomness with no artificial elements added. Hopes it will bring a more fun-filled reading experience=P Whoa~ oh my gosh. I think am really mad; cant believe I wrote that previous sentence. Haha but it just came to me. Guess I am really worn out from today. I had been out from early morning till late night. We had such a horrible time trying to maneuver through the crowd during fantasia. With another 4 plus hours of standing, its pretty astonishing that my legs had not been corroded away by lactic acid.. (pardon me whoeva reading this. I think I am so lame.)

Just rather amazed by how my entries can result in so much comments. I wonder if that is good or bad. =S My feedback on the bombastic words section had already been dealt with that night. It is now time for the interesting comments about the cip involvement. To be very honest, I am not the right state of mind to process them now. There seemed to be so much points raised. And there are so much concerns racing through my brain--- schoolwork, classmates, friends, family and even future.

I am sick of my life. That’s the truth. When you are so tired most of the times that you do not have time to even express you thoughts properly. When you come home exhausted, they deliver the letter regarding their divorce, my custody straight to your face. And as usual, I am expected to translate every single word as if it does not concern me. How great. It makes the situation even more exciting when tension starts building up again resulting in a conversation of vindictive words and sarcastic comments. My nick is not to draw any attention or sympathy. In fact, I do not need any of them. It is just a reflection of how I feel. It is just an avenue for me to release the burgeoning pressure in me for I refuse to bother people by making them listen to me. Say I am stubborn, say I am silly. It is just me. I do not need comments on these. Many can never understand the kind of emotion roller coaster one has to go through in this complicated situation. Some more kind-hearted people will advice you to talk so that they can help, but they failed to notice that it takes a saint to resolve the problems. Other creatures who know nuts about you throw venomous comments based on the superficial things; how shallow. Both types of comments only make my life more miserable. Do not ask why. It just is.

Gosh. It is so random. I shall not waste your time by writing anymore of these nonsensical words. For those who persevered and read till now, I sincerely thank you for wasting five precious minutes of your life on me.

shi~

i am who i am
9:21 AM

SS! omg! dis is damn freaky! i just read ur latest entry
n u know wat! tt day my class also stripped melvin!! melvin from my class.
haha. it was his birthday too!
PLUS we oso went toa payoh watch acjc vs hc.
in e end hc won oso.
but tt was for netball. not bball.
PLUS i oso met yanting there. omg la.
when i read ur entry, i thot i was hallucinating.
i thot i wrote it but forgot tt i did.
i was thinking... omg. how come someone just wrote down everything tt i wanted to write.
n EXACTLY IDENTICAL too.
haha... really FREAKY.

shi, as always, u make so much sense. too bad din get to meet u at funfair.
was in a rush anw.
sighs!
kk. so u guys all coming acco concert??
come k??? pls?
4 june
vch
5.30pm
12 bucks
=)

invitation to sleepover no 2 oso. during hols.
my house. =) but dunno whether wil be fun cos so few things to do here. actually nothing really...hmm...

ap...

i am who i am
6:27 AM

I was just reading a friend's blog who had commented about my blog entries in great details. In return for the special dedication to me, here is one inspired (not for) by you.

Despite the many who read blogs for pleasure and entertainment, there are few friends who will show care and thoughts about your entries. It was really heart warming to know that people do show concern. I do, at the same time, notice a trend; friends whom you spend most time with in school are ironically less sensitive towards your feeling while friends whom you meet up only once in while are more concerned about you.

Irony might be inappropriate. Paradox is a better word. Being in one of the top few junior colleges in Singapore, I have to admit most of my classmates and friends I made are intelligent, analytical, diligent and certainly muggish. Many are so caught up with the daily work and commitments that they become oblivious to their surroundings, friends and even family members. Coupled with the perpetual competitive race for the all-so-prestigious scholarships, tension sowed, selfishness grew and indifference bloomed. On the other hand, friends I made outside, some of which are the supposedly "not so smart" people stigmatized by the society (However, I prefer to use the word less academically inclined) really touches you at times. Their vocabulary might be primary school standard, actions not as refined, knowledge not as vast but the friendships they offer are just invaluable. Their humours words, dramatised actions and randomness of irrelavant comments can miraculously inject strength and motivation for one to persist on in darkest times in life.

As in all theories and societies, exceptions do arise. Rare breeds of friends who excel academically do present sincere and friendships. I do emphasize the word rare, limited and small in numbers. Therefore, I am thankful to be blessed with the owners of this blog, the commenter, khant and hopefully I can happily add on to this list soon.

Shi~

i am who i am
5:43 AM

haha... juz realise tml our class will be hiding in PH12 to wash the dirty dishes...oh god...wad a gd job yeo got for us... n she keep stressing service wif honour..haha... but thing we shall built class spirit by washing plates tgt...haha...

todae bio lect damn funny...n we were saying how loser qihan was..haha.. nvm...intersting though... then later after sch...the guys close the classroom door... n they strip melvin..haha..n we juz sang bdae song...haha...recentli our class hav a craze of stripping pple...so funny....once we sing bdae song then someone will "die"...haha...see no evil...

then later class go help yeo again for preparation or wad...after tt... we went toa payoh watch bball...HC vs AJ...haha... in the end HC won...so funny lah.. nvm...
n i saw yanting there oso...then later end le..while hc singing their sch song then we left..she shouted bye to me...haha...so...nvm..haha...then went home wif qh n ht...saw chengrong oso..

nvm.. i tell u on mrt so funny... ht n qh really really damn damn damn lame..was luffing thruout my journey home...oh god...so entertaining lah...then we talking bout gay camps...wadeva...so funny...nvm...n how crazy our class family tree was...wad yeo is our naima...aaron n wz our ancestor are the onli pure ones..then bcos they too smart...so in the end their offsprings all siao diao le..some is bi or wad..wadeva... even got s20 pple in our family tree..haha..

kk...funtasia tml...enjoy urselfs...while i wash plates in the lab...
ap.. look forward to seeing u...haha

ss

i am who i am
3:20 AM

My hectic schedule is slowly falling back to the monotonous routine of school work as my external CIP projects are coming to an end. It was a small scale event on Mothers' Day; without the typical publicity gimmicks of large-scale fund raising events. In fact, it was just sales on-the-spot at booths in shopping centers.

It was challenging to be doing it alone. There are trying times where I am struggling to catch up with my work. The stress was not from work alone. The disintegrating family, a life that was bleak with uncertainties and inadvertent comments which hurt me worsen the entire situation. The lack of support engulfed me with confusion and the pressure that came along was literally overwhelming. To top up everything, I was totally demoralized when friends back out on promises to help during the actual day. (I am not blaming anyone for I know everyone is caught up with their own life, own work and own commitments. If any one of you happened to pop by and so happen to be reading this entry which is highly un-impossible, thank you for making the cards!=))


To be particularly honest, I was guilty of regret and hesitant at a point in time---was worth it, I asked myself. However, not to let myself down or the person in charge down, I persisted. Skipping school to get work down, burning out most of my weekends for anyone but myself, embracing the unenthusiastic remarks stoically (well, I think I mentioned it to one friend though =P) and even tearing at night under the immense burdens upon my shoulders.

Now that I am relieved with most of the commitment, I start to reflect about the experiences through this whole process, in particular how I dealt with the stress. I was unaware my surroundings, my behaviours and attitude (forgive me if I had been weird or offended you in some way or another!); perhaps that is a reflex reaction to anxiety? Haha Just my theory again=P! Despite all the unhappiness, I have to admit I learnt a lot--- from myself, my abilities to mentality of other people. Also, I learnt the answer to the question I had questioned myself.

It is all worth it when you know that all the cards were sold. It is all worth it when you know you braved through all the obstacles, when the event ran smoothly and when your simple idea had helped to raise a 30 times profit; an extra income of $3000 from less than $100 injected. It might be a nominal amount to many, but it is a enormous sense of achievement for me!=P It is especially rewarding when your idea is being appreciated and even might be employed as an annual event in the future. The gratification, the smiles, the effort and even the tears had form part of the colourful pieces in my life. =) *Huge grins*

Shi~

i am who i am
6:20 AM

2dae damn pissed off wif my class..wad the hell..this cip is impt stuff lah..morning tok to class like tok to wall like tt...so noisy at first...think no one listening to me at all..then after tt oso no response at all...ual juz wan cip but dun wan to fu chu at all...then ask pple go for briefing also so diff..in the end i had to go myself(thanx ht for gg)..its like..wad the shit lah.. u guys busy or need to mug... but i need oso lah.. n i oso busy lah... co so busy pass few daes n weeks...dun hav time at all to even sleep.. its onli now tt i got a little more free time... then i oso carn hav tt time...wadeva shit n logic is tt... wait.. i m not blaming anyone anyway..esp those wif cca.. i m juz so damn pissed of wif myself..wad a failure i m..

then i n bio prac after lunch..think i lack of sleep until i slept wif my eyes open..so pro...think i was hallucinating..i tot i wrote something on my notes..can even "see" myself writing... but in the end after i more awake..check my notes.. it was empty.. oh god...

todae is juz sucky 4 me...

ss

i am who i am
7:16 AM

shi.
wat u said totally makes so much sense.
most pple arent interested in daily ramblings about how e day went or wat u did...
or wat time u woke up...
or wat u ate for breakfast... blah blah blah...
its usually blogs tt bring up interesting issues n are controversial tt attract e most attention
those are e blogs tt pple actually WANT to read

still, for us, its a way to keep in contact (yes esp cos of dis girl in diff sch haha)
we just write stuff tt is happening ard us to keep in contact wif one another
n at least i know wats happening wif u guys.
makes me feel beta... nt so far away...
n it doesnt hafta involve personal thots either.
we just say stuff tt happened, n seeing how well we know each other, i m sure we can infer... haha.
blogs r nt all bad after all (hmmm i tink i was e most unsupportive of this idea n i m saying this now??!! lol)

as for pple reading e blog...
i m sure everyone will hav thots on it. i mean, hell, even i find my blog entries childish when i read back on them.
but so wat.
tts exactly wat i wanted to write at tt moment.
its exactly wat i wanted to say... to tell u guys... to feel beta. so who's to judge? i just dun care anymore.
pple who read bout sad stuff n laugh... wat can i say...
i guess "hate" or "not liking" is still definitely beta than indifference.
i mean, if enemies actually bother to come to ur blog n read wats happening, they ARE rather caring enemies arent they? (haha. caring enemies. wat a paradox)
they took e time to click on e add to see how u r doing! wow! so honoured!
haha. i m learning to be sooo thick-skinned nowadays.

dwindling entries...
it doesnt really matter i guess.
just come over n leave a msg once in a while.
if not, as long as we stil meet up, n have our super fun super funny lame-ing sessions, everything will be fine.
i love you guys anw. so we wil still kbox wif or wifout supersupernova. lol.

yea. i rambled on for too long.
few wld have made it til this last sentence.
n it mite have not made sense or seemed childish... but...
its just for us.
just us.

iPing
xxxx

i am who i am
7:42 AM

just realised tt alot of pple is sufferring fr withdrawal symptoms...not juz me..

think i really miss njco..tok to alot of pple..
alot of us will miss co despite how much we dread prac last time...
it sounds weird but its true...when there is prac..u dread n even find ways to pon... now tt everything has ended..u suddenli feel like having pracs... yep..me n ht are act thinking of gg for pracs...though it will look weird...

i dunno bout others..but for me...its like.. i hav been in co for 9 years le...can u imagine..9 long years..when will b the nxt time i m in co again.. when will be the nxt time i touch my hu n be in dazu again...ahh...suddenli i feel lost...abandoned n wadeva...

in my years in co.. i hav to admit tt njco has brought me alot of memories...its diff fr nhco..cos..i dunno..nhco..everyone is so innocent...we juz go for pracs outings n everything..yah..oso for ndp....n me the loanshark chasing pple for money...miss guo lao shi..memorable...but less impactful... as in.. i dun really suffer fr withdrawal symptoms back then..

njco..though it has not always been happy for me.. wif all the stupid stuff happening in between..making the whole section so unbonded... but still.. i juz feel more attached to njco..mayb as u grow up.. u feel more n think more..
may i get over this period asap...

n tt i shall TRY.. n i mean T-R-Y to pia my hw now..b4 my teachers start chasing me wif a knife.. though i hav to admit...sometimes the teachers juz dun care bout me.. haha..i can sleep n yeo wun nag at me.. n teachers like teai wun check my tutorials.. but still.. i wan to b a guai kia..haha..

n shi..noe u veh stressed now...relax..
we love u...rmb..u still hav us to turn to when u r lost..

lastly..NJCO rox..

ss

i am who i am
11:30 PM

Living in a world of increasing isolation between individuals due to advancement in communication technology, blogging is an avenue where one can express his or her thoughts. It is also a way where friends who seldom get to meet keep in touch and update each other. (Like us) However, I realised that blogs might not be such a apt tool for expressions. Iping once told me, when people blog they tend to exaggerate events, feelings and emotions. A random mood swing can just mutate into depression and in some extreme cases, suicidal. In other cases, i witnessed vindictive comments passed in a fit of anger. And the "victim" would often return their version of angry rebuttals. So i wonder, what is the point of blogging? To scold? To criticise? To seek attention? To gain sympathy? As a result, you will observe the palpable dwindling entries from me. I begin to understand that no one will be interested in the blabbering about your monotonous humdrums of daily routines or what you bought from shopping with your best friends today.

All humans are so. They crave for dramatization. Every time when car accidents occur, the traffic jams which results even after the crashed cars had been moved to the sides are perfect illustrations of the human's ugly nature. It might be disheartening to some of the more kind natured ones who are reading this entry. Or perhaps, you might feel that my statements are just generalisation. Yes. They are generalisation. I am sure there are some people who slowed down their cars because they were wondering if there was anything they could help. However, I would just like to ask, how many are those some; or i should say how little. That might be one reason for all the exaggeration in blog entries; to draw more attention.

As more and more people learn about this blog, I becoming increasingly uncomfortable in posting personal feelings and expressing my thoughts, in fear that they would find me parochial or even immature. Even more so, I detest the mere thought that people might be deriving pleasure from my miseries. The idea of some stranger knowing about my feelings, my difficulties and even my life; or at least part of them proved to be too overwhelming.

I may sound reprimanding in my words. Rest assured, they are just comments arising from what i have seen through the course of my life. I, myself, am guilty of taking extra interest in the challenges and difficulties of others at times. To me, it is just human. There is no right and wrong in having interest in these lurid contents. We are brought up this way due to the environment and the society. Few can resist the temptations. Those who did not succumb are the minority possessing extraordinary power of self-control.

Hope this short entry had brought you a few minutes of entertainment and most importantly set you thinking----- Why are you reading this blog/entry?(for non-owners of blog)

shi~

i am who i am
8:14 PM

yest concert...was ok...quite short...everything like pass so fast... now the feeling is slowly setting in..its my last performance..its my last co prac or wad...for the rest of my life..oh god...
thanx alot for those hu came...

alot of memories wif njco...whether they are the great ones or the bad ones...they still make up a large part in my life.. in my jc life...i m sure cca is one of the thing i hav most memories of..but of cos..i love my class too...
joined co in j1 right fr the start...had mahjong sessions all the time...n tts when i learned mahjong..one of the most happy daes in my life..great frens..great way to start a jc life...then of cos...came the conflicts n problems...which really saddened me n bothered me alot...n until now...some still exists...for tt period of time..no one will understand wad i feel..even until now no one will understand...but of cos..its these things tt allowed me to rmb njco so much..
j2 years..ignored the probs..made alot of gd frens..haha...but must sadly sae..like all rv de..haha..juz kidding..but they really veh nice..its like they are really pple u can tok to..n its becos of them then i din regret joining co...given tt depressed period in j1...

thanx pple for making my daes in njco worthwhile.. peilin hsiutzu xiumin ziping cherie..n everyone else tt i nv mention...n of cos to my juniors..lynette beeying.. slyvia..n others..cont to jiayouz..i m sure u guys will hav a better memory wif a more bonded co..

will miss njco...retiring retiring retired...

ss

i am who i am
6:13 PM

life is such a routine

mug
dozing off
mug
rushing work
mug
mug
and mug

people are scary creatures

tension
conflicts
unhappiness
jus builds up like tt

jus some words
some actions

can strain friendships

sometimes..
even break it

i m jus so glad to have u all
no tension
no misunderstandings
no hard feelings

its jus the crappy crappings
lame laming sessions once in an eternity

yet they are so true


sincere laughters
and smiles from the heaartsss

luv u all!=)

shi~

i am who i am
5:19 AM

i m ok...but pple around me are not...

recently alot of my frens ard me all veh bad mood..depressed..got alot prob...in other words...they are juz not ok...not juz the normal sad..
some r sad..some r depressed..n the prob is..they are the frens who i m more close to...i m helpless..i dunno wad to do.. i m lost..

xm..its not ur fault..dun blame urself le..u really veh nice..dun alwaes blame urself..
oinkx..giv u a big big hug.. n hope u get over it n stay happy..
ht..u nv sae anything..but i noe u r not ok...not urself in co todae..was so worried for u..

ao wk wz...n to whoeva is sad..
pls cheer up...

ss

i am who i am
5:57 AM

yesh.. i m back...

this week hav been veh tiring..co prac n everything...n nxt week too.... sat general elections.. but i still need go sch for co..wad the...nvm..
tml is aarons n jerrys bdae....so class intend to go visit jerry in afternn tml cos he got rash..nv come sch alot of daes...then at night makan tgt celebrate aarons bdae...but..like alot of pple not free...nvm...i can onli go after co bah...

i m ok lah..dun worry..juz veh tired cos i sleep veh litttle everydae..
so funny..todae i was telling my gp teacher tt she should feel honoured cos i sleep for all tutorials n lect except during gp...though there are exceptions sometimes...
then she sae sometimes she suspect whether i m there though my body is there...esp during fri double gp after lunch..then like wan to kill me...haha...so funny.. love gp lessons...love my gp teacher....but not gp..its a diff thing.. haha...

next week evrydae got co...die...EVERYDAE till 8... i seriously in lack of sleep le...then still...haiz...dunno lah...
stressed n pissed wif myself recently...feel so stupid or wad...veh unproductive oso.. i dun care..i shall slack todae..giv myself a break b4 i burst.. i m really back to my introverted self le...esp in class? i dunno...its like...nvm..
this will b my last few co prac le..so yah.. will go for everything lah...giv my best... but..sometimes...there is a limit.. n i m not happy hows things work n is gg on..but i m really in no position to do anything... hope everything will b fine.. n tt concert will b a success...

oinkx...cheer up...

ss

i am who i am
2:12 AM

had been eating alot these few days

subconciously

but no matter how much i consume

it doesnt seem to help in reliving my stress=(

blar.

need to seek for other outlets i guess

jus a random entry

pardon me

shi~

i am who i am
10:16 AM