My hectic schedule is slowly falling back to the monotonous routine of school work as my external CIP projects are coming to an end. It was a small scale event on Mothers' Day; without the typical publicity gimmicks of large-scale fund raising events. In fact, it was just sales on-the-spot at booths in shopping centers.

It was challenging to be doing it alone. There are trying times where I am struggling to catch up with my work. The stress was not from work alone. The disintegrating family, a life that was bleak with uncertainties and inadvertent comments which hurt me worsen the entire situation. The lack of support engulfed me with confusion and the pressure that came along was literally overwhelming. To top up everything, I was totally demoralized when friends back out on promises to help during the actual day. (I am not blaming anyone for I know everyone is caught up with their own life, own work and own commitments. If any one of you happened to pop by and so happen to be reading this entry which is highly un-impossible, thank you for making the cards!=))


To be particularly honest, I was guilty of regret and hesitant at a point in time---was worth it, I asked myself. However, not to let myself down or the person in charge down, I persisted. Skipping school to get work down, burning out most of my weekends for anyone but myself, embracing the unenthusiastic remarks stoically (well, I think I mentioned it to one friend though =P) and even tearing at night under the immense burdens upon my shoulders.

Now that I am relieved with most of the commitment, I start to reflect about the experiences through this whole process, in particular how I dealt with the stress. I was unaware my surroundings, my behaviours and attitude (forgive me if I had been weird or offended you in some way or another!); perhaps that is a reflex reaction to anxiety? Haha Just my theory again=P! Despite all the unhappiness, I have to admit I learnt a lot--- from myself, my abilities to mentality of other people. Also, I learnt the answer to the question I had questioned myself.

It is all worth it when you know that all the cards were sold. It is all worth it when you know you braved through all the obstacles, when the event ran smoothly and when your simple idea had helped to raise a 30 times profit; an extra income of $3000 from less than $100 injected. It might be a nominal amount to many, but it is a enormous sense of achievement for me!=P It is especially rewarding when your idea is being appreciated and even might be employed as an annual event in the future. The gratification, the smiles, the effort and even the tears had form part of the colourful pieces in my life. =) *Huge grins*

Shi~

i am who i am
6:20 AM